(Web page 25/30)
(Book page 371~373)
I decided to study ma-kai (the evil world). I wanted my body to perfectly understand the evil power. I asked my companion to teach me how to bend a spoon. She said that it was difficult for an adult, but she gave me a tip of concentrating on the feeling that I would be glad if it bent with ignoring all physicality, which was how to use the power of thoughts and feelings. I understood that the key was whether I could be free from the concept that metals were hard.
I tried some energy that my body could create. It is not usual nenha (nen wave). It is not ki (qi), nen, or ju, which ordinary people can produce by training or practicing to get the power. Ordinary people cannot create that. I used the energy that I called the evil fluctuation since I thought that the action itself was like thaumaturgy. My companion stopped me, though. She said that it was far from it. Then, I noticed. If it changed the composition of a substance, it might be something of shin-kai (the god world). I tried the energy of sou-nen-ha (the human energy of sou) that deities used to manipulate human consciousness. My companion said that it was similar. I had not believed that ordinary human beings could use this wave, but I was wrong. The usage was different from shin-kai (the god world).
It was just to send your thoughts into material things. A secret was to do it with a child’s mind. While I was playing with a metal for a while, I discerned that the metal began to absorb the thoughts. As my companion said, there was the timing that the spoon bent. It could only be described as it felt like bending. It bent. A clock also stopped with the same energy. While I thought it to be interesting, I felt rage as usual. I conceptually knew it. However, my rage got stronger and stronger as I knew what kind of energy it was. Spoons bend because the molecular bonding state of metal changes. The bond between atoms also changes. That is the force having an affect on the field of elemental particles.
If we pursuit the energy of human thoughts and feelings, it will produce even a substance itself. That is what thaumaturgists have known or what they have targeted. That is E=MC2. If all the humans’ thoughts and feelings are pulled together, as I was taught, the Big Bang will be possible for sure. Human beings can create this force. That is because they are the god’s children. The existence form of the origin god break up into myriads of fragments to stay within each human being.
Wherever in this universe you look for, you will not find the creator and sustainer of the universe. I directed my anger toward the spiritual being of the Earth that could not solve its own problem although it knew that far.